Vegetarian Sloppy Joes? Oh yes, it can happen

A long time ago before I decided to become a vegetarian/pescetarian, I dated a guy who was a veg for the first year we were together. I wasn't, but that didn't stop me from eating loads of yummy vegetarian things to try them out. One night we were drinking wine in a bar in North Hollywood and he confided in me that he really really missed Sloppy Joes.

Coming from a white trash taste palate myself, I love me some Sloppy Joes. So I ran right out and figured something out for him.

Since I was drunk and it was late we went the instant route, which is what this blog is all about. And we bought two more bottles of wine in the process.

Anyway what you will need to construct these drunken deliciousness is this:

1-Can of Sloppy Joe mix. I used Del Monte when I made these last night. Yes you can make your own sauce if you're that kind of uppity cook, but the point of this recipe is the simplicity with which you can make and eat something while wasted. Check the ingredients on any canned item before buying it to ensure it does not have animal products in it.

1-box of Rice O Roni Spanish Rice. (Or substitute the Spanish rice of your choice. Trust me though, Spanish rice is the way to go, so stop being a rice racsist and get back on board.)

1-14 oz Can of Tomatoes. You can substitute salsa here as well if you need a bigger kick in your Joes. However the chopped tomotaoes give the sandwhich more depth and a better consistancy.

1-package of the hamburger buns of your choice

1-sliced vegan cheese

Preparation:

Step 1- Have a cocktail. Walk around the house drinking and swearing and turn on some music. I like to cook to Tom Waits and Billie Holliday. I know Jen Wa prefers Rancid.

Step 2- Have another cocktail. Put the Spanish rice on the stove and cook it how the freakin' box says to. Don't forget to add the tomatoes. This is going to take about 20 minutes, so you might as well have another cocktail.

Step 3- After the rice has simmered down to the right consistancy you add the sloppy joe mixture. Stir it around and cover the rice with it just like you would if you were making the meaty version.

Step 4- (optional) toast the buns in the oven or toaster. I have a gas oven so I just toast them in there.

Step 5- Take toasted buns out and add your vegan cheese slices.

Step 6- Add the "sloppy joe" mix on to the bun according to how hungry you are. Be careful, these are actually very sloppy. But delicious.

Step 7- Have another cocktail and eat this goodness

I found this Vegan Sloppy Joe mix on the internet you can buy as well. I've never had it so I don't know if it's worth the 7.95 though. I've also never used a subsitute meat product instead of rice. Most faux meats gross me out to be quite honest, but I'm sure if you really wanted to grind up a Boca Burger and soak it in sloppy joe sauce, you could.